Search - List of Books by Gary Chapman
Gary Demonte Chapman (born 1938) is a relationship counselor and author of the The 5 Love Languages? series. He is the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc. He also has a radio program on marriage and relationships that airs on over 100 stations and can be heard via the internet.
He is a graduate of Moody Bible Institute and holds a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) degree from Wheaton College and Master of Arts (M.A.) degree in anthropology from Wake Forest University. He also received Master of Religious Education (M.R.E.) and Doctor of Philosophy (Ph.D.) degrees from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary.
Chapman is also the senior associate pastor at Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina. He joined the staff in 1971 and shares the responsibilities of teaching and family care. He is recognized nationally and internationally as a trusted intellectual Biblical teacher and relationship expert.
He is perhaps best known for his concept of "Five Love Languages," helping people speak and understand emotional love when it is expressed through one of five languages: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. Chapman argues that while each of these languages is enjoyed to some degree by all people, a person will usually speak one primary language, but all are important and can be ranked after taking the love language profile that is included in the book for both husbands and wives. He has also authored the Five Love Language concept for parents of children and teenagers, single adults, and a special version for men. He has co-authored The Five Languages of Apology with Dr. Jennifer Thomas, that helps people understand how to give and receive an apology.
The first of many books promoting the above concept was The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, first published in 1992. The book has sold over 6 million copies in English; having been translated into 38 other languages — and the 1996 edition consistently ranks in the top 100 sellers on Amazon.com, ranking in the top 50 as of February, 2007. It also consistently ranks in the top 5 books on the New York Times Bestsellers List, claiming the #1 spot at times.
He is married to Karolyn J. Chapman (born 1939). They have two adult children, Shelley and Derek.
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Gary Chapman, Jennifer Thomas (2006). The Five Languages of Apology. Moody. ISBN 1881273571Gary Chapman (2007). Now You're Speaking My Language. B&H. ISBN-978-0-8054-4460-5
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This author page uses material from the Wikipedia article "Gary Chapman", which is released under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share-Alike License 3.0Total Books:253
2015 - Bom Dia[Em Portuguese do Brasil](Paperback)
Given his background, it’s no wonder. He was born in China Grove, N.C. (population 2,000). His father, a high school dropout, ran a Shell gasoline station. Dr. Chapman was the first member of his family to go to college, attending Moody Bible Institute in .
“As a senior in high school, I had a strong sense that God wanted me in some kind of ministry,” he told me. “There were only two things I knew in a Christian framework that I could do. One would be the pastor of a church, the other would be a missionary. I didn’t particularly like snakes, so I decided I should probably be a pastor.”
As a young pastor in , N.C., he began offering classes on marriage and family, and was stunned by the number of couples who asked if they could stop by his office to chat. “I had the personality that listens and empathizes,” he said.
But he also had the personality that sought out patterns of miscommunication. Combing through dozen of years of notes, he identified different ways that individuals express love. As he explained to the audience near Nashville: “Adults all have a love tank. If you feel loved by your spouse, the whole world is right. If the love tank is empty, the whole world can begin to look dark.”
The problem: individuals fill their tanks in different ways.
To illustrate, he told the crowd a story of a couple on the verge of divorce who came to see him. The man was dumbfounded. He cooked dinner every night for his wife; afterward he washed the dishes and took out the trash. “I don’t know what else do to,” the man said. “But she still tells me she doesn’t feel loved.”
The woman agreed. “He does all those things,” she said. Then she burst into tears. “But Dr. Chapman, we never talk. We haven’t talked in 30 years.”
In Dr. Chapman’s analysis, each one spoke a different love language: he liked to perform acts of service for his wife, while she was seeking quality time from him.
“Each of us has a primary love language,” Dr. Chapman said, and often secondary or tertiary ones. To help identify your language, he recommended focusing on the way you most frequently express love. What you give is often what you crave. Challenges in relationships arise because people tend to be attracted to their opposites, he said. “In a marriage, almost never do a husband and wife have the same language. The key is we have to learn to speak the language of the other person.”
He eventually labeled these different ways of expressing love “the five love languages”: words of affirmation; gifts; acts of service; quality time; and physical touch.
He outlined his ideas, along with some homespun wisdom and a sprinkling of homily, in the book, “The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate,” published in 1992 by Moody, a division of the Bible Institute. It sold 8,500 copies the first year, quadrupling the publisher’s expectation. The following year it sold 17,000; two years later, 137,000.
In a feat of endurance that would make New York publishers swoon, every year (except one) for the last 19 years, the book has outsold its haul for the previous year, putting total sales in at that 7.2 million figure; the book has also been translated into 40 languages.
Even more striking, those numbers were achieved without and without an appearance on a broadcast network. (Though in a rare bit of publicity, Elisabeth Hasselbeck held up the book on “The View” earlier this year and credited it with saving her marriage.)
Dr. Chapman achieved his fame by overcoming yet another obstacle: he’s an outlier in the pop sociology age of Malcolm Gladwell. At a time when many relationship experts ground their advice in academic research, like John Gottman’s Lab and Deborah Tannen’s linguistics studies, his authority comes from a different place.
While he uses the same sort of codification and conclusiveness as the university set, he is a throwback to a time when advice came from a wise auntie (Dear Abby, ) or a town elder (Norman Vincent Peale, Dr. ).
I asked Dr. Chapman, who holds a Ph.D. in adult education, if he was ever concerned that his views lacked academic underpinnings. “Most people are not going to read an academic book on marriage,” he said. “The normal person wants to know ‘What’s going to help me?’ ”
Inevitably, the book has faced criticism. Some find his tone too preachy. While he openly embraces the mantle of evangelical Christianity, Dr. Chapman points out that the book contains few overt references to Scripture. “I wrote it intentionally so that non-Christians and Christians would read it,” he said.
Others have been put off by a passage in which he encourages a wife to give herself sexually to her husband in a final attempt to reconcile her marriage. “I think the whole concept of submission has been greatly misunderstood in the Christian church,” he told me. “Scripture clearly states that a successful marriage requires both a husband and a wife to have a spirit of submission to each other.”
By his own admission, Dr. Chapman did not set out to be an expert on marriage. His own marriage, to a fellow parishioner, Karolyn, at age 23, was so troubled in its early years that he turned to God in desperation. “If I hadn’t made a covenant,” he said, “I would have left.”
One challenge was that his high-spirited wife, who he later realized valued acts of service, expected her husband to participate in housework; he, needing words of affirmation, wanted to be told how wonderful he was.
They eventually accommodated each other, and he describes their marriage today as being “very loving, very supportive and very caring.” With two grown children and two grandchildren, the couple lives modestly on his preacher’s salary. All the proceeds from his nearly 30 books and video series go to a charity he established to promote Christian values in underprivileged families worldwide.
Curious as to what he might say, I asked Dr. Chapman for the one piece of advice he could give to me and my wife.
“The key to a successful marriage is a growing marriage,” he said. “We are two different people. We are always going to have conflicts. A growing marriage is learning how to respect the other person, see them as a person also made in God’s image. If both of you ask God to help you express your love every day, and give you the wisdom to process your differences, to me you will continue to grow through the years.”Continue reading the main story